A nostalgic New Years

January 1, 2008 at 1:52 am (Day to Day)

Tonight was in fun in its own right, but I was constantly reminded of New Years Eve 06.

I was living a bit precariously and definitely over-the-top by the end of the year. My lifestyle was unashamedly conspicuous. I had a few short relationships, both ending with, “Rob, you have commitment issues.” That was true and probably still is. I had a coffee with Sarah that night, one of these short-lived relationships. She had lent me a book and was wanting it back. It’s interesting that coffee shops are where things happen, from casual how-do-you-do’s to actual business. Simply going to her house to drop it off wasn’t even thought about or suggested. It would have been acceptable when we were dating, but going to somebody’s house is personal, and we were not on personal terms. Coffee shops are a comfortable medium where the option of being personal is present but not forced. Coffee dates are big because of this; nobody goes only for the coffee. Sarah and I had a very pleasant conversation, and despite looking for every opportunity to leave, it was one of the better times I had with her. I would hear from Sarah later that night…

The Carpenter’s had their annual shindig, and this would be an opportunity to proudly introduce my current mini-relationship (Hannah) to my conveniently packed group of friends. I wanted their approval of her, and I didn’t really care about her approval of them since I knew long before we even started dating that it wouldn’t last long. Part of my attitude at the time was needing to know that I was desirable. That’s what explained my serial relationships and flings with very little attachment involved. I was insecure, and this was the affirmation I needed.  Hannah was not very much fun or interactive with my friends, save for quick hello’s. I tried to do my best to talk her up to everybody beforehand, but I felt like it was disappointing and not up to expectations. I had a really good time while Hannah was watching television almost by herself and eating the food from people she didn’t know. This was actually pretty funny because she was very content with it and not lonely. I let her do her Hannah thing while it went off and did my Rob thing with my friends. There was a bit of a diaspora of my friends after high school graduation, and this was a rare chance for us to come together and talk about the good old days and the new old days. It didn’t take too long for Hannah and I to leave back to her apartment.

There were party people already at Hannah’s. Amy was her roommate at the time, and she Aaron and Lauren were having their own shindig. I remember very clearly a text message I received from Lauren earlier that day that went something like this, “I don’t plan on drinking tonight.” Lauren was already hammered by the time I got there. She was at throw-up drunkenness and was working on pass out drunkenness, something I had only seen about one dozen times before that night. I suspected Hannah of having control issues at the time, so I was very surprised that she was going to go off to a party of her own and leave me unchaperoned with friends. There could have been fun that she wasn’t apart of, and I didn’t expect her to risk that. Almost as soon as Hannah left, I got a phone call. It was just past midnight so a happy new years call from a considerate friend wasn’t unexpected. It was Sarah and like the rest of the world around me, she was drunk. Until that day, we hadn’t spoken for a few weeks and now I am the object of her drunk dialing. As American tradition dictates she greeted me with, “Rob, I’m so drunk!!” This was even more exciting to her because during our relationship she had told me that she had never been drunk, despite her best efforts of sitting at home by herself and drinking. I don’t know whether or not it makes you an alcoholic to drink all the time and not get drunk. Maybe she was lying, or maybe being at home by yourself, it’s harder to judge the inebriation since there really isn’t much interaction.  “Are you ok? Do you need a ride?” was how I answered back. “No, but you should come hang out with me!” “No thanks, I’m actually at my girlfriends.” I unintentionally forgot to tell her during coffee that Hannah and I were dating. “Fine, asshole!” *click* This was that last conversation we had. Last semester we almost crossed paths on campus, but she went really far out of her way to avoid me from five feet to ten feet. She had very amiable (to me), albeit awkward, social tendencies.  Lauren was in and out of consciousness at this point and throwing up all over Hannah and Amy’s bathroom. Amy thought it would be a good idea to give Lauren apples. I’m not so sure on roughage and alcohol. I guess the fiber of apples would help her poo better, but constipation wasn’t her problem. I was a little bit smug about my surroundings, being the only sober one. Aaron and I started watching Batman Begins while Amy Mother Goosed Lauren back to health; that is, if mother goose was on the DHS list of unfit mothers. Amy came in to complain that Aaron wasn’t helping her. Aaron told her to mind her business; her was busy flirting with me. I didn’t figure that one out. During this time, Amy had two very opposite tendency to dealing with conflict: passively or black womanly. She chose the Aunt Jemima approach  this time. And around and around it went until I decided it was time for this guy to drive home and leave this path of destruction behind.

It’s when people are drunk that they choose to be the most philosophical and deep. Lauren had a very drunken one-on-one conversation that involved Saint Francis and ended with her wanting to watch the sun rise. I was told she slept until Noon the next day. Slurring Saint Francis quotes didn’t really do it for me that night.

I am so nostalgic about last year because this is what I have given up. It was worthless, but it was still memorable because it was eventful. I will remember it as being a fun night, again, because it’s so memorable (because it was eventful). Tonight will not be remembered a year from now other than being unmemorable.

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